
Well, you know, I'm not actually a steward. Nor do I have peanuts. Nor do I even like peanuts. But I am nice. At least I think I am. It's not like people come up to me and say, "Hey, Matt. You're really nice." Because if they did, I'd probably say something snappy and mean. Which wouldn't be, you know, very nice.But all in all, my name is Matt, and I find myself much funnier and much fancier than anyone else does. People say I'm "exceptionally bright." Which bugs me because I'd rather have a cool talent. Like tightrope walking. I mean, lamps are exceptionally bright. Would you want to be a lamp? I didn't think so. Still, I will accept "exceptionally brilliant" with humble gratitude. But now I'm rambling. So, enjoy the flight. And remember that that's the only free bag of peanuts you're getting your grubby paws on until we touch down.